And here we are! That'll be $55,756.27

Boy, 2004 has been just a barrel of laughs. Bush starts a war, wins another term, South Asia is wiped out, and while I *REALLY* want to blame Bush for the last one, I can't, at least not without proof that the US Government secretly knows how to control plate tectonics and water dynamics.

It's been a good year in some ways too. I've spent more time with Brady and Austin this year then throughout their entire lives, I've gone to 2 conferences and had a blast, Rod and I are still in love, and there is now a light at the end of the tunnel in terms of my education.

I look forward to 2005 as being a big year. I'll officially graduate from University, we'll hopefully move, and I'll try to throw myself into the Graduate studies arena. I can look forward to Mexico in a month, New York in March and hopefully, Vancouver in August.

But oh, look at the time. Rod and I are going to a New Year's party with Jette, Lori, Rob, and possibly Derek, and I have a million things to do before I can start to get ready. Happy New Year and see you in 2005!

Signing off for the year,

Fancy C. Poitras

The tangled web of debt

Today I got a letter from the friendly neighbourhood Student Loans people telling me that they are forgiving another $2000 in student loans, bring my debt with them to just below $30,000. Yay! But then you have to add my student line of credit and my credit card, and I'm at about $45,000 overall. Still, not bad for 8 years of education. Sure, I've had free years, and years when I didn't work, and so on, but still, I can handle $45,000 better than I could $55,000. At this rate, I'll be out of student debt in time to still be fertile enough to keep at least one child after selling the rest to make payments.

See, Rod and I have a plan. We are just going to have kids and consign them to our debtors. Our first 2 children will be for Student loans, so we'll call them "NSLSC" and "CIBC student loans". Our 3rd child will be "CIBC Lines of Credit". Our 4th will be "CIBC Visas". Then from there, we just may be able to keep one or something. That's the plan. Good old capitalism.

In other news, Rod got his passport today, and his black and white photo looks so dark, you can hardly tell it's him. Also, he sort of got the ghetto treatment. When I got my passport, I received some little pamphlets talking about security features and offering the contact info for overseas consulates and embassies. Rod just got the passport. Not that he minds, because he now has a passport!

And thinking about it, it's just 32 more days until we jet off to Cancun. Driving home tonight, it hit me...we're just a month away, and we are so not prepared. It's time to start lining up some money, cat sitters, travel insurance, etc. Like, wow. It's real. Which means that the clock is also ticking on getting everything set up for New York. I think our flights are booked, but I can't afford to pay right now. Also I have to pay for my one class next semester, and no one's hiring until at least January because the Holidays have closed many offices and businesses.

Yahoo for money. The only thing about my life I simaltaneously love and hate with such intense passion.

Things that piss me off

Now, I should warn you that this entry will focus on my irritation with "hard-hitting journalism" and "responsible editorials", particularly as aired on Global network, a division of CanWest Media.

I tend to avoid the 6:30 pm national broadcasts of Global news because I've long since been unable to swallow the sadistic manner of reporting. No news item gets aired without some form of sharp criticism, and I find that Kevin Newman's style of reporting, which means to come off as hard-hitting, comes off more as sharp editorials with some reporting thrown in.

Tonight, he led the newscast with some stupid comments about the Canadian Government being on vacation while the Asian disaster has unfolded (DUH--Many Western leaders are also on vacation due to the X-mas holidays--and this *after* he reports that most of the world is just now shaking off its disbelief and moving to assist the nations affected), then he criticizes the fact that only 1 Canadian plane-load of supplies has been sent to the region thus far (When will people ever accept that Canada's role in the world as Middle Power is not due to its military strength and resources, but rather to it's commitments to multilateralism?), followed by an even dumber comment about the fact that Canada's Rapid Response team DART has not been deployed (which was followed immediately with a report by a colleague who said that uncalled for aid usually just clogs up the airports and confuses matters in a disaster zone, so Canada only sends DART into places when a request has been made for its assistance). And yet no reporting on the outpouring of support and donations by Canadians themselves to various Aid Organizations who are much better prepared to respond in the region because of previous commitments.

Next, I move on to Edmonton's very own Jackass in residence, Bob Layton, who in his local news editorial, starts flaming the region for not having an early detection and warning system in place. Gee Bob, are *you* going to pay to install the system, maintain it, and pay the salaries of the highly specialized staff required to operate this system? Didn't think so. Yes, last year at a summit meeting, the leaders of the countries along the Indian Ocean rim talked about it, but then shot it down, and how many people could have been spared? Well, Politicians don't like to think of the possibilities of something like this happening, they are incredibly short-sighted and have ridiculously short memories, but are you going to be the person who says to the heads of developing states like Bangladesh, Burma(Myanmar), and Somalia, "hey look guys, we know you are too poor to afford some basic services for your populations, but would you mind using some of your small GNP/GDP earnings instead to split the really large bill with us?" The state has a duty to protect it's citizens and guests to the best of its abilities, but no government in the world can be prepared for what nature throws at us. Just ask Florida. Yeah Bob, things really are that simple.

Jackasses.

Because I'm in high demand...

It seems that half of my readership has been urgently calling for an update about the continuing X-mas saga, so here goes.

On Thursday, I did get over to see Peggy, and we had a nice visit. She got married in September and her husband seems like a very nice guy, which I'm glad to know because I've got this crazy thing about wanting the best for my friends. We had a light supper and watched 'The Gods must be Crazy 2'

Yesterday the trek to Vegreville consumed most of the day. Rod and I needed to run errands in the city before we picked up Marie. We went to pick up Cory, but Cory was very sick, so he stayed home. The drive out was a thrilling ride, full of snow-covered farm fields. In the dark. Joy.

We finally arrived at Rod's Parent's house and I was concerned that yet again, the house would be overrun with teenagers. One of Harry's cousins is a minister or a minister-in-training or whatever, and he routinely arrives with an entourage of children beyond his own, but last night, we were spared. We were also spared a lengthy supper prayer (aka. A SERMON in lieu of Grace), though I managed to find a place to hide so that I wouldn't be spotted in plain sight rolling my eyes.

The family sort of tries to stick to that whole "no-meat" thing that Ukrainian Catholocism prescribes, but they always have some Turkey or Chicken set aside for me because I dislike the Ukrainian palate. Well, the Turkey by then was quite dry, and when I looked at the gravy, I was incredibly dismayed to find that it was *loaded* with mushrooms, which I'm allergic to. Not impressed. Needless to say, I could have done better than corn niblets and rice for supper. Anyways, we did the gift thing, and then I hurried Rod out of there because I couldn't stand being stuck in that smoke-filled house anymore. I felt like I was getting a tumor in the back of my throat just sitting there.

We went to bed early and woke up around 9 am this morning. We unwrapped our presents. I got:

-2 copies of U2's 'How to dismantle an atomic bomb', because Rod and my sister didn't communicate with each other.
-The DVDs: Aladdin, Soapdish,
-The Books: Autobiography of a Geisha, Bridget Jones: the edge of reason
-Another Eveline Charles gift card
-a nice sweater set from my parents
-a Get Fuzzy desk calendar

Rod Got:
-Boardshorts
-Polar Bear track pants from my parents
-DVDs: Total Recall, True Lies, Entrapment, Bad Boys
-The Surprise gift...

His surprise gift was a small scrapbook highlighting the story of our relationship. He quite enjoyed the little trip down memory lane, and now he understands what I was working so hard on.

We hightailed it over to my Brother's place for a nice brunch and the chance to be together for Christmas, and things even got somewhat sorted out with my Parents and my sister, so all around, the day wasn't complete atrocious, but then, it just seemed like a normal day. I guess I just don't understand the big deal. Not a big thing for me.

Anyways, now, on to my favourite holidays...Boxing Day sales and New Year's Eve.

The things we do for love

I'm still pretty sure that Rod doesn't read this blog, but all the same, I won't get specific about his present. I'm just sooooo close to finally finishing with this current labour of love which will likely end up gathering dust in a box somewhere, but nonetheless, I guess I'm okay with that.

Quick welcome to Chris (aka. Chrissafur, Bitchtopher), who spied the location of this blog. He never did find the first one, but then, no one knew where it was except me and Olaf. Anyways, welcome aboard Chris, here's the warning: anyone who piques me is fair game, because even psychos like me need a place to vent. :-)

We got some early xmas presents last night. I got Pooh pajamas (pyjamas, whatever), a book about Anne Frank, the newest Anne Frank movie DVD, and pooh socks. Oh yes, and a black Santa hat. >:-)

It's two days before xmas

and all through the house

little kitties are stirring

and chasing a faux mouse

The Stockings aren't hung

because nobody cares

no carols have been sung

because nobody dares

We have no kids nor extra beds

we don't know what goes on in our cats' heads

And Rodney in his CK's and I in Pooh pants

try to avoid "Happy Holidays" rants

and I'm spent. I've reached my limits of creativity today. So much creative genius on Rod's present, not enough left over to finish a clever little Fancy rendition of Twas the night before Christmas.

I'm quite excited though because Peggy, my old friends from high school, called to arrange a little meeting after about 4 or 5 years without contact. Peggy is one of a kind...she and Erika gave me towels and a frying pan when I graduated high school. Peggy was by far the most understanding about everything as it really happened in Camrose. I was even staying at her place in Calgary when I got my tattoo and when I let Nikki talk me into going down there to stalk Chris at The Rev. Lots of memories with Peggy.

Anyways, I need to go finish with some stuff. So, later to all my dedicated fans! (You have to make the little people feel special, like they put you where you are)

What's a bum to do?

Well, you would think I'd be sitting back doing as little as possible in my time of R&R, but no. I'm busy. I'm taking this time to catch up on the NMUN stuff that I was meant to do, and I'm applying for some jobs, trying to finish with Rod's x-mas present, looking into details for the one class next semester, and I'm trying to come up with more fundraising ideas because we've picked up 4 new members to the delegation, and now we have to hustle our butts to raise about $30,000 in 3 months. It's all just been a gong show. More stuff to do in not enough time to do it in. Wild ride.

Yesterday we got some bad news. A friend's mother has passed away this week and we're deciding whether to attend the funeral. It's so sad because he really loves his mother so much, and she was doing better this year. Then she took a turn for the worse. Very upsetting.

Anyways, back to the saltmines.

Do I really need a title?

Well, I'm not entirely sure what caused it, but there was an attempted reconciliatory move on Chris's behalf that was not brutally rebuffed on my behalf. None of our friends will fess up to talking to him, so I'm left with one conclusion: the Apocolypse is nigh.

But in all seriousness, there is remarkably little news now. I finished my take-home final exam is the nick of time on Monday night, and I'm free of school until January. I went to my Stats Canada interview, but I'm not sure I want the job, so now I have to figure this out. It would require me to work independently, set my own hours, do my own stuff, but I'm terribly unmotivated and extremely leery of just barging into some stranger's house to question them about their personal lives. Not really my style. Plus, it gets me nowhere in terms of a career, and it's only a temp job. I need something that I can fall back on until August.

I bought one of Rod's x-mas present today. I hope he likes it because I sort of went with what I like. I also sent off the Yk gifts, and Karyne's photo CD. I picked up the donation cheque for NMUN from Royal LePage too. I actually did have a busy day. Go figure. No rest for the wicked.

Anyways, off to bed.

The second worst birthday ever

Oh yeah, I'm not kidding. We don't need to rehash the worst ever, suffice it to say that it was a devastating blow to my confidence. This birthday....a devastating blow to my trust. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. Every year I hope that my birthday will be a happy occasion, and every year, I'm disappointed. One might ask how I can be so masochistic as to let myself become hopeful every year. Slow learning curve.

My birthday is already a painful and heartwrenching ordeal as it is. My Gramma and I shared the same birthday, 60 years apart. We had a special relationship because of it. And now that she's gone, it breaks my heart each and every time I don't get to call her to share our special day. I can't think about it without becoming very upset.

The first bad sign of the day was when I opened my email and saw 3 people had bailed. Then my parents forgot about my birthday. Then the blizzard started. Then Rod neglected some of his chores. Then the stylist gave me bad 90's "Little whorehouse in Texas" giant hair, then 2 more people bailed. So there was little point to trying to pretend that my birthday mattered to many people. I was beyond choked. I know my birthday is during a difficult time of year, but I sent out advanced notice three weeks ago saying that there would be something going on. You would think people would budget their time for the friends that theoretically "matter" to them. This whole debacle really shows where I fit in the pecking order. Gee, how could I possibly be considered a bitter person after so much disappointment?

But the honours of being the straw that broke the camel's back go to Chris. He bailed on my birthday to go rollerblading. And he wonders why no one shares a close relationship with him. Nothing says "You don't really matter" like "I have something better to do".

Not everyone bailed. Jette came out once I calmed down enough after sobbing for more than an hour. Lori came out much later. Heidi was going to come out, until I cancelled my birthday. And Rod, poor guy who get stuck with trying to comfort me, he still loves me.

So, my options are:

1) get the fuck out of this city, move somewhere better, and make new friends
2) just completely disown the concept of a birthday altogether
3) Stop pretending.

The 26-year (b)itch

Yep. It's my birfday. Happy Birfday to me, now go finish the laundry, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, mop the floor, sort your crap, send the presents, do the ironing, get some toilet paper, and maybe later, we'll let you go to your hair appointment.

Yep. It's my birfday.

In other news, my x-mas shopping is all done except for Rodney's gift. I would tell you what I'm getting him, but I can't take the remote risk that he'll take the opportunity to drop in here and see what his girlfriend isn't telling him about life. :)

I'm not surprised most people are bailing on my birfday. It's always been a bad time of year for everyone. Growing up it was always the rush to jam work in before the holidays, then it was University finals time, and everyone's stress levels go up naturally from all the shopping. It's pretty easy to be forgotten in the melee. And since we're a pretty low-key family, there's just never been much of a reason to make a big deal of my birfday. There was when I was a kid obviously, and until Gramma died there was because you couldn't forget that we shared the same birfday.

uh-oh....he's awake....be back later

So, I guess that's it?

I dropped off the last major paper tonight. Had a chat with the Prof about life and stuff. Weird.

I have a no-pressure take-home final due Monday. Then my university career goes *POOF* and I go get a job while I try to pass that one last class. Philosophy 120. My old nemesis. I will have nothing else to concentrate on but NMUN and Philosophy. This is insane to me. I feel like I'm skipping next semester, but it's okay because I'm a perma-student. But I'm not. I'm actually inched away from crossing the finish line. Me, the dumb, lazy one.

In high school, I hung out with the best gang of friends, but they all got way better grades than I did because they were smarter and they worked a helluva lot harder than I did. I never figured that I would graduate University. Holy Crap.

So I guess I'm back where I started from. Now what?

I'm on a roll!

Wowwee for me. First, I get my African Politics paper back with a big shiny A-. Then yesterday, I was having a great hair day. Then I get my Arctic History paper back today and it's a bigger, shinier A. I'm doing fine. I still have one more paper to write that is due tomorrow night, and a short take home final due Monday, but after that, my Undergrad career is gasping its last breaths. One last class.

I was bolstered by the A already, but the Prof, who is still a grammar nazi, was so impressed with my papers this term that he commented about my going to grad school, and if I decide, I should contact him. Dude, S-C-O-R-E! I needed another academic reference besides the one I was already planning on asking. Totally rocks!

So, yeah, I've been a little busy since the last time I pounded the ole keyboard here. I wrote 2 papers in 2 days, and at least one was quality work. Got some more of that nasty x-mas shopping out of the way. Things are busy, and that's fine because it keeps me from drowning in the oh-so-fun sea of winter depression.

So I guess I'll try to write a paper about American history now, but I'll leave you with a little travelling music....

...doin' alright, gettin' good grades, my future's so bright.....

Let's try this again

I've tried to post updates twice since last weekend and in both instances, blogger.com has spat them back out and refused to post them. Now everyone's a critic.

Anyways, the jist of it is this:

-3 more papers to write, not including the International Ethics take-home final
-Wrote and handed in the Arctic History paper and did NOT check it extensively for Grammatical Errors on principle. Dammit, I paid for a history course about the Arctic, not an English course based on some Arctic History.
-The African Politics paper. Ahhh yes. Now, you may have heard about this ordeal 2 weeks ago (or read about it). Anyways, that horrid ordeal that nearly ended in a horrific murder/suicide tragedy involving Rod and the Pissy Devilbox...I picked that paper up yesterday and it got an A-. I fucking well deserved that after the shite I went through.
-NMUN has finally gotten on the ball and planned some big fundraising events. They should be big!

Anyways, Max is sitting on my hands, making it impossible to type, so I have to cut this short. Gotta go finish the YK x-mas shopping today anyways.