Ottawa, for real

Well, I've been here just shy of three weeks, and so far my scorecard looks like this:

-Pints consumed: oh hell, lost track after the first 3...I'll conservatively estimate....30?
-Landmarks seen: two. One part of the Civ Museum in Gatineau, and a lovely stroll along the canal.
-Number of complaints about the lack of a real beer selection: ongoing...into the hundreds by now.
-Nice weather days: 5. 3 if you count days where I wasn't complaining about the wind.
-Zellers visted: 3. Amazing how I have to go to three different stores to get just basic items.
-Number of stores that don't carry ichiban noodles: All of them. I think I managed to get the last package in the National Capital Region.
-Training sessions done: 1. 3 hours of my life I'll never get back.

Ottawa is not a city I plan on relocating to for the long term, ever. Or the short term, for that matter. Everyone here assumes:

-that you want brown bread, brown pasta, brown rice. What ever happened to wanting good taste in your food?
-that you love the outdoors and can't wait for the weekend to go out and climb something, row something or own a two-wheeled transportation device. For the record, the only thing I climb is bar stools, I don't know anyone with a boat (but I did just meet someone with a canoe), and putting me on a bike is the stupidest thing since...well, the last time I had a biking accident!
-that you want a career in the Federal Public Service. Look folks, that's swell, but to me, it's soulless, and I'd rather complain about the weather somewhere else and still love what I'm doing enough to stay.
-that you drink Alexander Keith's or Rickard's. Literally...the beer menu in most places jumps from Molson Canadian to Alexander Keith's to Guiness. It's like everyone's taste buds died upon entry into the NCR. (add one more to the beer complaints tally).
-that you are strange for not accepting the natural order. "What do you mean, you don't want to move to Ottawa, work for the Feds, get married, buy a house and have kids before you're 30?!?"

Don't get me wrong, Ottawa's got some charms when it comes to visiting, but I've never been drawn to this life, and I'm not having an inkling about changing my mind on that score.

So there. I'll keep you posted throughout the summer, as things are bound to improve once I start making friends...and forays into Toronto, Montreal, and curiously...cottage country.