Oh, the people you will "meet"

This 'meeting people' business has already proven to be one of the most interesting experiences I've had in a while. Yes, I'm on an online dating website (no, I won't say which one), and I'm looking to meet people in Ottawa. It's not about the dating part, though if it gets there with someone, I won't say no; it's about meeting people and making connections and even friends. All due respect to my Ottawa friends, but I need to meet more people in Ottawa!

The problem, which I foresaw, is that you have to wade through some real characters to get to any real gems. And this weekend, just as I was contemplating leaving the site for a while, I got some REAL characters.

This weekend alone, I've been invited to "get together" with 3 guys, all around closing time in Ottawa. This does not surprise me, and I'm amused by it. There's no mistaking their meaning. The messages go something like, "Hi, how are you tonight? I'm drunk, lonely and horny. Wanna come over (or Where do you live)?" I laugh to myself as I respond "Good luck with that. I'm in Vancouver." Guys don't read my profile, they see knee stockings and want a booty call! Oh well. But the reason I'm laughing is because I have to wonder if their lameass lines actually ever work? And if you took the time to read my profile, you'd see I'm an educated woman with no self-esteem issues that would drive me to answer "Okay!" to these pitiful attempts at booty calls. This pretty well deterred two of them. But the third decided he really wanted to keep things going, and without any further encouragement, he's asked me if I could please wear my Halloween costume when I go to his house.

But this is not even close to the prize-winner of the weekend. A simple "Hi, how are you?" exchange with one guy led almost instantly to a proposition of a different kind: he asked me if I ever considered selling a pair of my panties. My WTF-o-meter instantly went off the chart, and I was just *dying* to know what this was about, so I said it was something that's never crossed my mind, honestly. He responded that I am an extremely attractive and desirable woman, and he'd pay well for a pair.

This is essentially the lowest level of sex work possible, and it's somewhat common in the world of fetishism. The client requests something that often does not even require physical contact, merely that some fetish they engage in be fulfilled (think Sex and the City, and the episode involving Charlotte and the shoe salesman). This particular request does not bother me from my own perspective as a purveyor, I have nothing to fear when it comes to my personal safety. A person with a no-contact fetish is typically harmless.

But, having had some education in so-called aberrant behaviours, the part that does both me is the aspect of exploitation of a fetishist. If I was so inclined, this would be an opportunity for me to exploit this person's willingness to pay with little cost to myself. This shifts the balance of power away from equal footing, toward favouring me. On the other hand, is it really exploitation if this is truly what the client desires?

I'm never sure what to think. After reading a Dan Savage column a few weeks ago regarding a similar situation, I thought, "well, if it's not causing harm to either client or provider, there's nothing wrong with it." But at the time, I never thought I would be in a situation where I myself am being asked to engage in this type of low-level sex work. The control imposed by society tells me it is wrong to engage. The Libertarian streak in me says 'Who cares?'

Anyone else have an opinion?