Blogiversary Two

What a difference a year makes! A new city in a new province, basically a new lifestyle, and a new reason for asking myself, "Now What?"

Last year I was dealing with some heavy shit in many respects: family problems were unusually more dramatic, my job was proving to be unsatisfying and lacking in challenge, and worst of all for me, somewhere along the way, my consciousness was lost in a tailspin from which there was no recovery. Normally I am built to handle a great deal of adversity, but since I was not myself when all this was going on, it was all so hard to handle. I was lost, sort of locked away deep inside of myself, silently watching while I tried to deal with everything, and not doing a good job because I wasn't familiar with the manner in which I was responding.

This year is much improved. On the family front, things have been relatively quiet; a few dust-ups, but nothing to make me despair. The work situation has taken a turn for the worse, but I'm managing to deal with it because if all works out for the best, I will be starting a diploma in Social Policy Issues at SFU in January. Either way, by January, I will be somewhere different, and I can safely say that the job has been a learning experience. And as you may have read earlier last month, I am on the road to recovering the wit and humour I once possessed in abundance, and my passion for observation is once again rekindled. I recognize myself these days.

Last year, I was hopeful that things would improve. From a low point, I wrote, "I guess I've taken my knocks for the year, and it hasn't been all high drama, but I'm certainly hoping that the next year of this blog reads a little bit happier than the last." This past year was a bit of a wild ride, but it was more in the sense of an exciting new adventure, rather than seeming to be fraught with disaster.

I wasn't going for some witty, esoterically high-brow turn of phrase in my profile when I described myself as a work in progress. Just look at the progression of the meaning of the question Now What from year to year. Two years ago tonight, at a loss for words, and yet bursting with too many of them, I feebly explained that the question was one I tried to avoid answering. One year ago, in the midst of a personal crisis, the question was simaltaneously exasperating and hopeful, as I tried to deal with so many, well, bummers at once. This year, I think it's a question asked enthusiastically, and I can't wait to ask it again and again after something else is conquered.

So.

Now What?