So I guess I'm 27 now

I had a birthday. Don't believe me? There are pictures here. This year I was coarsed by Rod into having a party-type thing, with only 3 or 4 days to go. So on Saturday, we cleaned up, Rod bought enough food to serve multitudes, and there was a big cake. A Big one. 30 or 40 people could've eaten hearty pieces easily. I'll admit, I was beyond pessimistic. Given last year's debacle, I was pretty bitter about the idea. It was my real wish this year to just let the day pass as unnoticed as possible to avoid a repeat, but Rod was insistent. I played no part in putting it together, and I was actually quite depressed as the days passed.

This year, things were vastly better. People showed up, we had fun, we chatted, played games, hung out...it was relaxed and easy. I didn't have to be hostess or anything, I could just sit back and let things handle themselves. I was still embarassed though. Last year almost everyone cancelled and probably thought they wouldn't be missed because everyone else would be there. I don't think it would've been the spur, but somewhere in the back of their minds, I can't help but wonder if they were trying to avoid the same thing. Celebrating yes, but could guilt have played a role? *Listen to the hubris!*

Then on Sunday Rod and I hit the road and finished some x-mas shopping and went to the craft show at the Butterdome. It was just a lazy day, which was good after Saturday's work and partying. But I wondered why I wasn't getting the gift I'd asked for. It turned out that Rod was waiting for my parents to be present on Monday at supper to give it to me, but by then, mummy had accidentally let the cat out of the bag so I knew to expect it.

I made a special request for my birthday this year. I asked for a small gold locket, but it had to be not-heartshaped (because heart-shaped jewellry is so Grade 7), it had to be fairly plain, and crucially, it had to have the birthdates for me and my grandmother engraved on the inside. Each year without my beloved Gramma on our special day, my heart feels the void even more. This way, I will always have something to remind me that we did have a special day.

Okay, I'm rambling now. I guess one does that the older they get. I wonder if we should end all hope of coherency from Rod as his 30th birthday approaches.

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Holy Fuck, was I high on glue when I wrote all that? That's the best I could do? It's written like I'm preparing a high school English Composition or something! I swear, the older I get, the more I forget how to write stuff that appeals to even me.

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Okay, I'll admit it...I actually wrote much of that stuff while watching Cold Case Files on A&E, so my attention span wasn't the greatest. It was the episode about the Green River Killer, and I was more interested in watching the pathology of Ted Bundy's thinking play itself out then I was in telling my sad little tale of a better birthday.

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But you weren't supposed to know that.

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But I can't lie about it...it's obvious that I was writing halfheartedly, and that's so not like me. You were probably wondering what had stolen my thunder or whatever.

I'll shut up now.