Be yourself (but only when others want you to do so)

The last 24 hours have been a rollercoaster of emotions, and the ride shows no signs of stopping. Last night, on our way to the Goodwill depot to drop off the donations, I sighed and mentioned the lack of entertainment options in Edmonton. I lamented that there was no big theatre scene mostly. Rod started to tell me about a coworker who apparently shares my propensity for critiquing her surroundings. He said he wondered how long I would last if I wasn't allowed to complain, and then he mentioned that my complaints about this city are starting to piss off some people.

He later made things worse by implying that when I say stuff like how this city's not good enough for me, I'm putting down people who do like it. This pissed me off, because I've always held to the mantra "To each their own." Hey, just because something's not working for me, doesn't mean it's not working for someone else, and I'm quite frankly offended that anyone would think I'm trying to insult them because I have completely different tastes and I'm expressing my opinion.

Of course I'm going to complain about Edmonton and our apartment. I'm bored and frustrated, and complaining is about the only thing I can do about it right now, because we can't afford to move right now. This isn't one of those situations where one can tell me to stop complaining and get doing because it's financially not possible.

So I was left all night feeling like I was this horrible person for living, and that none of my friends actually wanted me to be me. Recognizing that I am fully aware of all of my faults, and that I do try on a daily basis to work on them, accepting me means accepting my faults too, and I completely acknowledge that no one has to *like* my faults, they just have to give me the courtesy of accepting that I'm not setting out to be an asshole on purpose (most of the time anyways).

But what the fuck. I suspect that with the return of my backbone and my trademark defiance, my sorrows will pass, and more quickly then they should, and I'll go back to being the person everyone loves to hate. Stay tuned folks...Fancy in Progress