Someday, she'll change...

I'm a 30 year old woman, but I get the same sympathetic treatment as a 15 year old...pat me on my head, give me that 'knowing' look, and think "Oh, some day she'll learn, some day, she'll understand."

This response is typical, if not entirely consistent whenever the topic of...what...being "grown up" I guess is the nearest approximation, comes up. And at 30, it's coming up so much more. I'm 30 and married, so that should mean that I want kids soon, and a home, and a reliable, safe vehicle, and a solid retirement investment portfolio combined with a solid pension. Right?

Wrong.

Look, that dream's great. It's served many boys and girls well, including some of my dearest friends and family. But it's not one size fits all, and it certainly doesn't fit me. I'm not dissing that dream (at least not trying to), but I can honestly say that I've never seen myself there. Not even as a little girl, playing house with my friends. In most situations, I was the dad or the kid, mostly because my friends didn't like me being the mom (I wasn't good at it).

My Gramma told me once that I had to find my own path in life and believe that I belonged there, and I've learned so much about myself, including the fact that my path wasn't meant to run through sweet, safe suburbia. People are currently looking at me a little sideways when I express doubts about going back to Ottawa, because they know I'm walking away from a safe bet complete with a nice pension and sweet benefits. Well, at least it's a little relief from the usual, which is getting those looks for expressing my desire to remain childless.

Trust me...a wise old Capricorn once said "Once you accept the fact that happiness is not all it's cracked up to be, you can be perfectly happy." I accepted it in terms of my lack of enthusiasm for the North American Dream, and I've been the happiest woman I know for years! I appreciate everyone's concern, but it's misguided. I have a plan...it's just a different one, and it's the one that ensures that I am living my life to what I consider to be its fullest.