Why I can't walk away...

Principles are a tricky business. Having them means that one is required to follow them when up against a situation that calls for a test of character; this rather vague reference will not be explained, much to your chagrin, but in a moment of reflection tonight, I have reached the conclusion that doing what's right isn't always the best thing, and yet choices are dwindling.

I don't want to lose something very precious to me, even though I know that I haven't the strength to bear it as I have in the past, but my principles have forced my hand. In the game of life, it's sink or swim, and life seems to have called my bluff. So if this cryptic message makes sense, I'm all in, for the long haul.

Me, through the eyes of someone I've never met

This screen cap was taken from a social networking site I used to be active on, circa 2004 (?). It was written by a person I know of through a chat and message board on an entirely different site...the internet...what a delightful device. It allowed someone who has never shared physical proximity with me (or even the same continent) to make my acquaintance and develop an opinion of me, based only on some chat room conversations and message board posts. And the great part about this exercise is that I would agree with his assessment of me, with the exception of two things:

1. the part about liking me...I fully admit to being difficult to like, for a variety of reasons. It's not that I go out of my way not to be liked, but rather that my eccentricities and flaws make me something of an acquired taste, and not everyone is interested in acquiring that taste; and
2. the part about juggling...I have terrible hand-eye coordination actually...I cannot physically juggle.

It's funny how pieces of me are enough to sketch a fairly good likeness of me. My intricacies are obviously not included, but the framework is there to build on. I tells ya...I loves this interwebs thing!

The Stupidest Thing Ever Vatican

First, the story breaks on Dec 23rd that the Pope's gotten himself into trouble by comparing the devastation of the rain forest and climate change to the devastation of traditional genders in today's world.

Then today, we are treated to the stupidest (yes, stupidest...it's so stupid, it deserves its own poor grammar) story...The Pill is polluting the Environment. What a way to start 2009, eh?

Well, if you were thinking the headline is plausible, perhaps because of issues involving packaging or manufacturing, be prepared to be wrong about that theory. The story behind the headline has nothing to do with such concerns; instead, the crux of the story is that the hormones in the Pill are polluting the environment directly through Female Urine.

One problem guys: common sense dictates that nearly everything going in to the human body gets metabolized, so our Pee...it's just Pee.

And as for the secondary claim that The Pill is partially responsible for male infertility? There isn't even any explanation for how this happens.

You know, the obvious overtone is that The Vatican is reaffirming its Anti-Contraception stance, but if you look beyond that surface, there is another veiled attack on Women's rights. By pinning male infertility on The Pill, The Vatican is blaming women for a the loss of male sexual prowess, and in doing so, is fostering resentment towards women making choices for themselves.

Even I realize that I sound like a feminist, and we know how I feel about wearing that label, but it's the curse of a social sciences education. The thing is that The Vatican has reaffirmed again and again over hundreds of years that they are misogynistic sexists. It has repeatedly clamped down on or condemned almost every effort women have made to break male domination in the Catholic Church. Given the history, for once I have a responsibility to sound like a feminist.

If I only had a resolution

I never make resolutions for New Year's. It's not because I think I won't follow through; in fact it's a strange combination of my fickle nature and my strong will that prevents me making an attempt at resolving to change.

Do I need to change some things about myself? Oh, Absotively posilutely! I'm getting soft in the middle, I still have some questionable eating habits, I never workout, I'm addicted to consumerism, and don't get me started on my study habits.

Do I recognize that I am capable of change? Duh. There's no question about this! If I wasn't capable of change, I would still be stuck working retail or reception, thinking I wasn't smart enough or good enough for anything else. Change, I can do!

What I am is Stubborn. Very. Freaking. Stubborn. And flighty. Oh. So. Flighty. I value my health, but I won't be a slave to it. I value my health, but who the hell has time to exercise when you have a 24-hour instant analysis due at 5 pm? I value my money (what little of it there is), but it's so easy to spend to ensure that I am like no one else in even subtle ways! I insist on doing what I please, even if what I please is fleeting and changes in a flash.

How the hell could I even settle on a resolution with such a charming blend in personality, never mind keep said resolution? Besides...if the United Nations isn't capable of enforcing a binding resolution, why should I be expected to? Seems a hopeless business, so best not to unsettle myself over it. I can't even be bothered to resolve not to make resolutions because who knows? Some day the mood may strike to make one. For now, I will just be the same ol' me, striving to be decent every day.