Losing Sleep Already

Fancy, it's 5:10 in the fucking morning, what are you doing up and blogging?

Well, at first I was awake because I wasn't buying that Rod's work visa was really buried in his flight itinerary, but a quick google revealed to me that it is indeed embedded in there. Then I blamed the tea that I drank around 8 pm last night.

Now I blame the anxiety over putting Rod on a plane to Australia (eventually) for 4 weeks, and knowing that it's only mere hours until I see my parents off for their move to the Island. In other words, I'm scared of being alone.

I've been alone before, but there are huge differences this time. First, Rod and I have never spent more than 6-8 days apart. I think my trip to New York was the longest separation we've had to endure, and it was me going, not him. Second, back before we started dating, and even as we were just starting, when I was living in HUB Mall, I spent a great deal of time alone, but at least I had friends in town. Jette and a couple of school friends aside, I'm pretty isolated out here, which I didn't mind before because I'm happy just to be living out here. I find I can bare the lack of friends well enough because I'm in an environment that makes me happy. Question is, will it be of any comfort now when I'm facing real loneliness, or will it compound the loneliness?

Dammit, Rod's not even gone yet, and already I'm losing it.