Someone owes me big time!

I hereby promise to do everything in my power to NOT NOT NOT have children, because as cute and life-enriching as they are supposed to be, they become TEENAGERS, and I'm 100% certain any teens of mine would not survive to see adulthood.

My niece, Morgan. Turns 13 tomorrow, and for her birfday, she wanted a sleepover party in the same hotel that they were at for Beni's birfday. My brother can't handle his own children, nevermind adding five 13 year olds to the mix. My mother is too old to keep up and relate to the girls. So lucky ducky me. I got a mostly-all-expense paid trip to Edmonton for two nights in order to chaperone this little party.

I arrived in Edmonton on Friday Morning and headed straight for West Ed Mall. For the most part, everything was familiar, though a few new faces appeared in the landscape. It got annoying hauling my luggage around while looking at headpieces and shopping for white strapless bustiers, which I might add, is apparently an incredible task given that my girls are big enough, but my rib cage is apparently too small for the stupid bustiers. Clearly, I will have to find the right one, and have it taken in to fit better. I had a crepe, and waited for Miz Holly Berry to come get me for supper! And lo! At around 4:30, she appeared! It was awesome! We went to the Olive Garden where I sucked up a plate of cheese ravioli (I usually manage only half the plate), then we went downtown to my old neighbourhood for ice cream, which I downed like my life depended on it. We went back to her place where we watched Pan's Labrynth and I spent the night on her couch. I missed that kid :)

Saturday morning, I was up early to get over to my brother's house to get this party started. We checked in early at the hotel and went to Kingsway Mall for breakfast and the haircuts, then it was back to the hotel to wait for the girls to show up. And show up they did. They were all good kids, but crammed into a small room with 6 giggling girls is enough to drive anyone to seriously consider ripping out their eardrums. I had to step in at one point and stop a planned prank on one girl. They wanted to do the hand in the water bit, and I found out how much I hate kids at that moment when I explained that it was not funny, but humiliating instead, and they laughed. What finally got them to realize this was a stupid plan was when I pointed out that a) My brother and the kids were going to stay another night, and it would NOT be good to have a wet sofabed for them to sleep on; and b) the maids would have to deal with the cleanup, not these irresponsible teens. To not be a stick in the mud, I suggested instead waiting until she was asleep and writing on her with her beloved lip glosses, which was received gleefully, and this time, I didn't have to step in, because these silly girls were too lazy to coordinate in person, and instead sent Morgan a text message (she was in the other room), which was intercepted by the intended target. So problem solved.

Sunday morning, we managed another trip down to the hotel pool before we sent the girls home and I left shortly after that for the airport. I was a full 2.5 hours early for my flight, but I needed to get away as quickly as possible. Kids are so not my thing.

Seriously, my brother and my mother owe me. A lot.