Thursday, May 18, 2006

B.C. = Bring Cash

Okay, first off, let me apologize for my language, but it's the most appropriate way to state what I'm about to say...

ICBC royally raped us up the ass today. Yes, we took the plunge and made our Thunderbunny a resident of B.C. today, and we learned a few things along the way:

1) Our car has been in B.C. before! Yes folks, it turns out that Thunderbunny was registered here before, which we didn't know, and I might add, it puzzled us greatly as to how a car from B.C. ended up having a block heater. Obviously, the previous owners either lived in a colder place here, or did us the favour of installing the block heater upon arrival in Alberta. Either way, a car in Vancouver with a block heater isn't a common sight, so I'm told.

2) Revelation time: Rod's got a terribly sketchy memory, and he apparently doesn't remember that it was in fact The Little Bitch (aka The Geo Metro) that got stolen and brought to Vancouver, not Thunderbunny. While his swiss-cheese-like memory is nothing new to us Rod Disciples, it hit me standing there staring at him in complete wonder that Rod would make a terrible witness in court for anything, because details...not so much. This could work to my advantage should I need to sue him for alimony or Lottery winnings, or put him in jail for attempting to murder me...

Me: "Rod promised he'd leave everything to me if he died, but the poor boy didn't get around to making a legal will."
Lawyer: "When was this promise made Ms. Poitras?"
Me: (picking any random date because I can get away with it) "November 3rd, sir."
Rod: (to himself) I don't remember this! I know, cause I remember everything. Except how old I am, how much I weigh, what colour underwear I'm wearing right now, the complete meaning of Pi, the size of the house I carried on my back for 5 km while hiking the West Coast trail in a garbage bag, the rules of accepting a bet where a key component is getting punched in the head, and where I put my watch this morning.


3) ICBC is a scam. Our insurance went from being $91/month in Alberta to $167/month here. Same car, same driving records, same situational set up. And how do I know it's a scam? The difference in price for a policy that carries a 2 Million Dollar Liability claim on it, and a 1 Million Dollar claim on it is $4/month. But given the bad examples of driving I've witness in the short time we've been here, who's to quibble over $4 a month? All the same though, please pass the lube and the baby wipes.

I knew it would be expensive, but I had no idea it was going to be that bad. And just to clarify the picture for you, the best drivers with the longest records of no at fault claims get a maximum of 43% discounted on their insurance. I'm terrified to find out what the health care plan and the drug plan will end up costing us for Rod.

In the past I've made offers of vital organs to pay our debts, and no takers. Well, perhaps the more scientifically inclined or devilishly maniacal of you readers would consider buying my eggs instead. It would sure provide a steady income, and I won't be needing them. Even if I wanted brats, I can't afford them here!


At 1:32 AM, Blogger Gail said...

You think BC's bad? Ontario is WORSE. Holy crap, I'm paying TWICE what I used to in downtown Vancouver, with less coverage!

My friend Adrian took a transfer position in his company from Vancouver to Toronto and they shipped his car out on a train. He bought three years of insurance from ICBC so he would save money. But now he has to AirCare it before he can renew, and he's not going to drive it all the way back to Vancouver just to AirCare, so he's gonna have to suck it up and buy insurance here. Oy.

At 11:31 AM, Blogger jette said...

oh, i nearly peed my pants reading that part about Rod's memory...

And in unrelated news that I could email you, but since I'm here... I bought a bathing suit, a new tailored short jacket, 2 tshirts, and a cute olive-green embroidered shirt. So far. The mission continues today!

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Fancy C. Poitras said...

Rock the fucking shops Jette! Go girl! And I hope Andrea's having the same great luck ;)

Heh, Gail, I had to choose whether to apply to SFU and concentrate on going West, or Ryerson and heading East. Judging by the insurance, I'd say going West was the right decision.

At 7:04 PM, Anonymous Rod said...

No comment.


Post a Comment

<< Home