Progress on the Human front

Today, the Canadian Government passed Bill C-38, the Civil Marriage Act, redefining Marriage as the union of two persons to the exclusion of all others, and I was extremely proud to be Canadian. It still has to pass in the Senate and receive Royal Assent, but that's expected to happen in the next few weeks, making Canada the 3rd nation on the planet to allow Same Sex Marriage, just ahead of the expected passing of similar legislation in Spain. In Spain, the bill passed the Lower House in April, but was defeated in the Upper House on June 22nd, however in Spain, that just means the Lower House will take the legislation on again and pass it again, finally making it law.

I've spent the last few days emailing Canadian MPs about various comments they have made during debate, including a flaming mad email to Paul Szabo, a Liberal MP who stated that there is less love in a common law relationship then there is in a Marriage, which made me want to shoot him in the ass with a BB gun (but I won't). It's amazing how these people we elected to represent us would say some of the more insensitive things and that these things are there, in Public Record. How do I know this? Duh, I watch CPAC religiously. It's my ESPN or TSN.

So, Canada moves one step closer to progress on the Human Front.

Variety *used to be* the spice of life

Are you a greasy hamburger in a world full of tasteless vegetables? Is your sweet tooth falling prey to the new international obsession with counting...carbs, fat grams, calories, steps, tastebuds, etc.? Do you just feel like the world is becoming one big uniform restaurant? Well I do.

Understanding that yes, I am a picky eater, there comes a point when the world is just being cruel for the sake of capturing market share. We just got back from McDonald's where we were informed that the chain has stopped selling chocolate soft-serve ice cream, and from now on, it will only sell vanilla soft serve. And another one bites the dust.

Since I've stopped eating McDonald's food about 3 years ago, the only reason I had to go there any more was for the chocolate soft-serve. And it was my haven, my little chocolate soft-serve haven. Dairy Queen only sells vanilla, and the first time I ordered a "chocolate cone" there, I was handed a vanilla cone dipped in a frozen chocolate coating. Bleh. If I wanted that, I'd just have a Revel or a Klondike bar. Baskin Robbins only does regular ice cream. And don't even talk to me about Frozen Yogurt. Not only does it taste gross, but it's not even ice cream. So with McDonald's killing off the chocolate, I'm left without the yummy goodness of soft-serve ice cream.

And if you think I'm overreacting or something, a short history lesson might help. I'm always finding foods on menus that I love, only to have those menu items yanked, leaving me cold.

• The Olive Garden - used to have a dessert called Strawberry Limone, which was a lemon cream cake with strawberries and raspberry sauce. They got rid of it, and I was sad. They rectified the situation by adding a Lemon Cream cake a few months later, and I always order it with the raspberry sauce. No strawberries, but still the essence is preserved
• The Creperie - a French provincial cuisine restaurant here in Edmonton, it used to have a Linguini Tomato Basil dish that I always ordered, mostly because the other menu choices were fish/seafood or contained ingredients that I am allergic to. They killed the Linguini Tomato Basil dish and replaced it with a pasta dish in a sauce containing mushrooms, which I'm allergic to. So now there's nothing there for me.
• Dairy Queen - used to sell reese's pieces blizzards, but they pulled that flavour last year. An idiot child behind the counter offered me a reese peanut butter cup blizzard and I was left wondering just how the two tastes are remotely similar enough to satisfy my palate
• Chef Boyardee - when I was a kid, they sold this product, 'Roller Coaster' which was their lasagne noodles in a tangier sauce with mini meatballs. Gone.

Okay, I get that the trends are swinging impossibly fast towards healthier menu choices for consumers, but why the hell is it that these places always choose the one bloody item on their menus that 99/100 times are the only ones that I'll eat. Stupid bums.

Survey Part Deux

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:45-ish
2. Diamonds or Pearls? Both darling!
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Mr. & Mrs. Smith
4. What is your favorite TV show? Ever? MASH or NewsRadio
5. What did you have for breakfast? Shreddies
6. What is your favorite food? Breakfast food!
7. What foods do you dislike? Seafood/Fish, potatoes, veggies, lots of ethnic foods, etc. Yes, I know, I suck
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? CDs eh? Yeah, I remember those things...the round circular shiny plastic things, right?
9. What kind of car do your drive? Toyota Echo named Thunderbunny
10. Favorite sandwich? Peanut Butter and strawberry jelly sammiches!
11. What characteristics do you despise? Bad driving and stupidity
12. Favorite item of clothing? I love my clothes
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? Costa Rica or Paris
14. Ever unwrapped a starburst with your tongue? Never tried actually. Not such a big fan of sticking chemically processed paper in my mouth
15. How many keys on your key chain? oh thousands
16. What did you do yesterday? I drove around and got pics and video of the river "flooding", then to Costco to buy new cookware, then home to watch TV and eat corn on the cob *yummy*
17. Last time you cried? Sunday night...that Extreme Makeover Home Edition show makes me weep like a little girl all the time
18. Is your house clean? For the first time in years, yes, relatively so. Need to vacuuming, but otherwise, it's shaping up
19. Favorite time of year? Summer baby! Bring on the hot weather and the hot clothes
20. What color is your bathroom? White, Black, Purple, Green and possibly taupe
21. Where would you retire to? Our future mansion on Lake Como
22. Favorite time of day? I used to like Question Period, but these days it's getting mean
23. What did you do on your last birthday? No comment. See Blog for details
24. Favorite sport? I like most sports, except golf and baseball
25. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? Everyone
26. Person you expect to send it back first? No one, but the first response will likely come from Chris, Gail, Olaf or Ed
27. What fabric detergent do you use? Liquid Tide
28. Coke or Pepsi? Neither. I rarely have soda
29. Are you a morning person or night owl? Nights. I'm not fully operational until at least 2 pm
30. Do you have any pets? 3. Max (cat), Princess Purrball (cat), and Rodney (boyfriend)
31. Any new & exciting news you'd like to share with your family and friends? Not today
32. What book are you reading? Guns, Germs and Steel by Jared Diamond, Emma by Jane Austen, and The Truth about the Drug Companies by Dr. Marcia Angell
33. Where are your second homes? My car, any decent mall/shopping development
34. Who do you miss most? My Gramma. She's always been special to me
36. Last place you visited? Travelling? Hellowknife; locally? several city parks along the river
37. What are you listening to right now? Live debate on bill C-48, House of Commons on CPAC...hey, it's the ESPN of nerds
40. Favorite thing to do on weekends? Shopping
41. Something nice about the person who sent this to you? Wendy S. was the best neighbour we've ever had! We miss her!

Surveys surveys all around us...

I got this in my mailbox this morning, and for lack of blogable ideas and insights, I'll post this Q&A instead.

1. IF YOU COULD BUILD A SECOND HOUSE ANYWHERE WHERE WOULD IT BE? After I build my first one in San Francisco, I think I would like to build a nice mansion on Lake Como in Italy

2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING? I love all of my clothes

3. THE LAST CD YOU BOUGHT? Bought? Oy...maybe Hot Fuss by The Killers?

4. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Usually sometime between 7 am and 9 am

5. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE? I hate all of my current kitchen appliances, but under normal circumstances I’d probably say the dishwasher

6. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Piano

7. FAVOURITE COLOR? I refuse to answer this question

8. WHICH DO YOU PREFER, SPORTS CAR OR SUV? Oooooooh Sports car...my beloved BMW Z3, when will you be mine?

9. DO YOU BELIEVE IN an AFTERLIFE? No

10. FAVOURITE CHILDREN'S BOOK? I’m told I liked Dr. Seuss’s ‘Go dog Go’

11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON? SUMMMMMMMMMER, hot hot hot!

12. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Shapeshifting...that would make for one hell of a game of hide and seek

13. TATTOOS? 1, plus plans for 2 more ASAP

14. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nope

15. IF YOU HAD ONE WISH TO GO BACK AND TALK TO SOMEONE, WHO WOULD IT BE? My Gramma

16. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE DAY? Can we narrow this down a bit? There’s 365(6) to choose from

17. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR? Blanket, various sporting balls, junk, roadside safety things, you know, crap.

18. WHICH DO YOU PREFER SUSHI OR HAMBURGER? Hamburger

19. FROM THE PEOPLE YOU WILL EMAIL THIS TO, WHO'S MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Not emailing, going to the blog, so it’s open season

20. WHO'S LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? People who don’t read my blog

21. WHO DID YOU RECEIVE THIS FROM? Nitsie

22. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER? Lilies

The Second sign of the coming Apocolypse (OR, How I Forrest Gumped my way to a degree)

Nine years ago today, I walked down a ramp and proceeded to the front of my high school graduation class to collect my diploma, nervously aware that heels and metal ramps don't always get along so well. But I made it back to my seat without a hitch, and then I pondered my future...I was headed to Augustana University College in Camrose, Alberta to start a degree in Music and Drama, but most importantly, I was getting the HELL out of Yellowknife.

Fastfoward to June 10, 2005. Last week's drama surrounding my dad's possible absence was finally laid to rest, and sadly, he couldn't be there. When the issue first came up, I was upset because he also had to miss my high school graduation for meetings out of town, and here was that heartbreak rearing it's ugly head again, but this time around, I understand a lot better that the "real world" I'm always mocking comes with responsibilities that can't always be shirked no matter how badly we may want to do so.

Anyways, I got up early on Friday morning and went to the bookstore to get my cap, gown, hood and degree. I found out while in line that my friend Jason was headed to Afghanistan in Frebruary, which, at 9 am, is a really rude awakening. Nothing like that "real world" to get your day started. I came home and began the round-up of Rod and Mom. We got on the road and stopped off at the Bookstore first to take advantage of the 20% off being offered to grads. Then it was off to the main attraction.

Speeches were kept mercifully short and finally, the big walk across the stage. Since my last name starts with P, I had to sit forever before I could finally get up and walk to the stage. All I really remember is the announcer getting my first name wrong, which is comical because it's usually the last name they get wrong. Anyways, I shook hands with the bigwigs and went for my exit when I was stopped by a woman from Native Student Services who presented me to an elder. He asked if I was any relation to Audrey (Audrey Poitras is the President of the Metis Nation in Alberta, but I don't know if I am), and I'm so used to being asked if I'm any relation to Jane Ashe Poitras (An internationally recognized artist and printmaker, and yes, she's my dad's cousin), that I was thrown off completely. He called me Nancy, pressed a leather medicine pouch into my hands and I made a break for Exit Stage Left.

As I sat there, the lady next to me was talking about C's means degrees, and I was like, D+ baby. I was sitting there because of a wonderful little class called Symbolic Logic. If not for a mistaken question on the exam, who knows, but being in the right place at the right time paid off after 9 years of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Augustana, Grant MacEwan, and U of A (times two)...Drama/music, Education, Travel Consultation, General Studies, Spanish/Japanese and Political Science/History...and it all comes down to a D+.

Jake Ryan

The western world is all a-twitter with speculation about one of the most significant events of the past half-century, and if you think I'm talking about the revelations of the identity of "Deep Throat", you would be entirely wrong, and shame on you for thinking I've ever cared about the shenanigans surrounding the Nixon Administations. No, I'm talking about the re-emergence of the teen queen of the 80's, Molly Ringwald, and her hints at a possible sequel to 'Sixteen Candles'.

Think I'm making a mountain out of a mole hill? Well...apparently I'm not the only one pondering this possible event...

http://www.usatoday.com/life/columnist/popcandy/2005-06-07-pop-candy_x.htm

http://www.hankstuever.com/jryan.html

And after reading the second article about the mythical Jake Ryan, I got to thinking about how I have not been blessed/cursed with a Jake Ryan of my own. That is to say that I guess I've always left the myth to those who wanted it. Looking back at the years of high school, I can't pinpoint any desires akin to the Jake Ryan myth. I was pretty well happy dating most any guy who asked. Sure, I was a blonde cheerleader, but that didn't make me more popular in any way and in fact, I was such a gawky, skinny teenager, that I could easily identify more with the Sam-character than I could the Caroline-character. But looking back, I didn't lust after the hottest, most popular guy in school...and I think I would be hard-pressed to even know who to give that title to, and I'm sure that whomever it was decided to bestow this title on wasn't secretly crushing on yours truly either.

I'm not saying that Jake Ryan does or does not exist, just that he didn't/doesn't exist for me. The Mr. Everything portrayed in the movie is a wonderful Hollywood fantasy, but it didn't really exist in the Northwest Territories as far as I was aware. After all, I grew up with most of those people, meaning there was very little aura of mystique to draw upon for the fantasy. I guess if anything, the Jake Ryan fantasy for me would have been, well, the Hollywood version...a nice, handsome, rich, popular and fabulously well-timed actor (maybe Harry Connick, Jr. or more mainstream Brad Pitt) who sweeps me off my feet.

But why should I feel robbed of the Jake Ryan myth, when I'm happily settled down with my very own Farmer Ted.