The Times, they are a-changing

Bob Dylan, very smary man.

Today, the word came down from Statistics Canada, the face of family life is changing. The Nuclear Family is a model in decline, which I'm hardly mourning. It may sound like I've got a chip on my shoulder, which is true to some degree, but I'm glad to see the decline of something so potentially judgmental.

I come from a mix'n'match family, with half siblings, stepsiblings, even a foster sibling tossed in for good measure, and even in this age of increasingly blended family units, I still run into people who judge my family unit as being inadequate because it's not the traditional nuclear family unit. What's more, Rod and I have (often) enjoyed a common law relationship that rivals some of the legal marriages of people we know, and yet we've run into cases where our relationship is devalued because we're not legally married, even by close friends, and that hurts my feelings.

Rationally, I know they have their beliefs, and appreciate that it's their right, but getting past the surface, it stings to hear that they think Rod and I need some stupid piece of paper to be recognized as spouses, particularly in light of the fact that all levels of government accept us as spouses in a common law relationship. Rod and I are getting married in a year, but I will always consider our time since moving in together in 2000 as the start of our marriage, because it was at that point that Rod and I entered into a pact that promised we were it for the long haul; those of you who know Rod well enough know he moves slowly on issues of significant change, and therefore also know that us moving in together was a monumental shift for him...so far moreso than our forthcoming nuptuals, which he moved into seamlessly.

These numbers are pointing to a trend that plainly spells out this: it is time to, if not embrace, acknowledge the fact that family units don't come in one shape or size, and that's fine so long as the people in families are cool with what they've got. I've said it before...striving for an ideal of perfection only induces depression, anxiety, disappointment, and potential madness. Humans aren't meant to be perfect, so why on earth should we expect families to be?